As a Courtesy to Our Passengers

As a Courtesy to Our Passengers

As a Courtesy to Our Passengers:

Speaking to live airline booking agent helpfulness fee: $.25 per
minute (including hold time)
Online reservation convenience fee: $5
Courtesy luggage-cuddling fee: $15
No-snooping-through-your-stuff guarantee: $3
Courtesy fee for booking a window seat, middle seat, and exit-row
seat, respectively: $10, $5, $15
Seat-sharing waiver: $25
Use of "courtesy seat" at terminal gate while waiting for plane: $.10
per minute
Courtesy passage through enclosed ramp to plane door: $.02 per inch
Courtesy smile from boarding-pass checker or flight attendant: $1.50
each
Reassuring head nod from pilot or co-pilot: $2.50 each
Seat-back pocket rental fee: $2.00
Motion-discomfort bag restocking fee: $5.00
Courtesy test of flaps, rudder and landing gear: $4.75
Courtesy air circulation fee: $1.50
No-snakes-on-plane guarantee: $3
Rental of light from overhead reading lamp: $0.50 per minute
Water, coffee, tea and juice: $2 each
Courtesy lavatory flush: $3 each
Courtesy fee for not performing a courtesy lavatory flush: $100
Ask flight attendant a question: $1 each
Cone-of-silence rental (mandatory for babies and loud talkers over
80db): $20
Seat cushion that sinks: $2
Seat cushion that floats: $8
Mid-flight fuel check: $4.50
Landing-at-the-right-airport guarantee: $2.50
Courtesy disembarking fee: $25
Airline CEO country club membership courtesy contribution: $6

Re: As a Courtesy to Our Passengers


"Marsha L" <ThoseEyes48@gobbledygook.gmail,com > wrote in message
news:7pmdneOzjocyFuPVnZ2dnUVZ_h3inZ2d@posted.toastnet...
> As a Courtesy to Our Passengers:

> Seat cushion that floats: $8

Can these be bought on ebay and brought aboard during my flight? Or would
there be a seat cushion boarding charge applied?

--
BartenderWJT-
The best way to "thank" a bartender is to not stiff them.
The best way to stiff a bartender is simply say "thanks."

Re: As a Courtesy to Our Passengers


"BartenderWJT" <BartenderWJTstiff@cox,net > wrote in message
news:ymNfk.1693$_J5.191@newsfe02.iad...
>
> "Marsha L" <ThoseEyes48@gobbledygook.gmail,com > wrote in message
> news:7pmdneOzjocyFuPVnZ2dnUVZ_h3inZ2d@posted.toastnet...
>> As a Courtesy to Our Passengers:
>
>> Seat cushion that floats: $8
>
> Can these be bought on ebay and brought aboard during my flight? Or would
> there be a seat cushion boarding charge applied?
>
> --
> BartenderWJT-

It would count as a carry on and would be subject to all of those rules and
regulations.

Re: As a Courtesy to Our Passengers

In case of cabin depressurization please deposit $5 for oxygen mask
drop

On Wed, 16 2008 17:00:35 -0700, "Marsha L"
<ThoseEyes48@gobbledygook.gmail,com > wrote:

>As a Courtesy to Our Passengers:
>
>Speaking to live airline booking agent helpfulness fee: $.25 per
>minute (including hold time)
>Online reservation convenience fee: $5
>Courtesy luggage-cuddling fee: $15
>No-snooping-through-your-stuff guarantee: $3
>Courtesy fee for booking a window seat, middle seat, and exit-row
>seat, respectively: $10, $5, $15
>Seat-sharing waiver: $25
>Use of "courtesy seat" at terminal gate while waiting for plane: $.10
>per minute
>Courtesy passage through enclosed ramp to plane door: $.02 per inch
>Courtesy smile from boarding-pass checker or flight attendant: $1.50
>each
>Reassuring head nod from pilot or co-pilot: $2.50 each
>Seat-back pocket rental fee: $2.00
>Motion-discomfort bag restocking fee: $5.00
>Courtesy test of flaps, rudder and landing gear: $4.75
>Courtesy air circulation fee: $1.50
>No-snakes-on-plane guarantee: $3
>Rental of light from overhead reading lamp: $0.50 per minute
>Water, coffee, tea and juice: $2 each
>Courtesy lavatory flush: $3 each
>Courtesy fee for not performing a courtesy lavatory flush: $100
>Ask flight attendant a question: $1 each
>Cone-of-silence rental (mandatory for babies and loud talkers over
>80db): $20
>Seat cushion that sinks: $2
>Seat cushion that floats: $8
>Mid-flight fuel check: $4.50
>Landing-at-the-right-airport guarantee: $2.50
>Courtesy disembarking fee: $25
>Airline CEO country club membership courtesy contribution: $6
>

Re: As a Courtesy to Our Passengers

Let's not forget the announcement about half way through the flight.

"Folks, there is a the landing fee of, 'sign this quit claim deed on
your house.' The on board crew and the company Notary Public will
have parachutes and if we don't have 100% participation, the
passengers who did sign will get a nice parachute and any non signing
passenger can have one for a quit claim deed for half the value of
that person's house. All who agree to the landing fee and/or
parachute rental (25% extra charge if it's damaged) will sign
notarized forms that say, 'I'm signing this of my own free will with
the intent to execute the document.' Thank you for flying with us
today and I just know we'll have a 100% participation. Have a great
day."

Skip








On Sun, 20 Jul 2008 00:17:24 -0700, Gary Davis <> wrote:

>In case of cabin depressurization please deposit $5 for oxygen mask
>drop
>
>On Wed, 16 2008 17:00:35 -0700, "Marsha L"
><ThoseEyes48@gobbledygook.gmail,com > wrote:
>
>>As a Courtesy to Our Passengers:
>>
>>Speaking to live airline booking agent helpfulness fee: $.25 per
>>minute (including hold time)
>>Online reservation convenience fee: $5
>>Courtesy luggage-cuddling fee: $15
>>No-snooping-through-your-stuff guarantee: $3
>>Courtesy fee for booking a window seat, middle seat, and exit-row
>>seat, respectively: $10, $5, $15
>>Seat-sharing waiver: $25
>>Use of "courtesy seat" at terminal gate while waiting for plane: $.10
>>per minute
>>Courtesy passage through enclosed ramp to plane door: $.02 per inch
>>Courtesy smile from boarding-pass checker or flight attendant: $1.50
>>each
>>Reassuring head nod from pilot or co-pilot: $2.50 each
>>Seat-back pocket rental fee: $2.00
>>Motion-discomfort bag restocking fee: $5.00
>>Courtesy test of flaps, rudder and landing gear: $4.75
>>Courtesy air circulation fee: $1.50
>>No-snakes-on-plane guarantee: $3
>>Rental of light from overhead reading lamp: $0.50 per minute
>>Water, coffee, tea and juice: $2 each
>>Courtesy lavatory flush: $3 each
>>Courtesy fee for not performing a courtesy lavatory flush: $100
>>Ask flight attendant a question: $1 each
>>Cone-of-silence rental (mandatory for babies and loud talkers over
>>80db): $20
>>Seat cushion that sinks: $2
>>Seat cushion that floats: $8
>>Mid-flight fuel check: $4.50
>>Landing-at-the-right-airport guarantee: $2.50
>>Courtesy disembarking fee: $25
>>Airline CEO country club membership courtesy contribution: $6
>>

Re: As a Courtesy to Our Passengers

On Jul 16, 7:00 pm, "Marsha L" <ThoseEye...@gobbledygook.gmail,com >
wrote:
> As a Courtesy to Our Passengers:
>
> Speaking to live airline booking agent helpfulness fee: $.25 per
> minute (including hold time)
> Online reservation convenience fee: $5
> Courtesy luggage-cuddling fee: $15
> No-snooping-through-your-stuff guarantee: $3
> Courtesy fee for booking a window seat, middle seat, and exit-row
> seat, respectively: $10, $5, $15
> Seat-sharing waiver: $25
> Use of "courtesy seat" at terminal gate while waiting for plane: $.10
> per minute
> Courtesy passage through enclosed ramp to plane door: $.02 per inch
> Courtesy smile from boarding-pass checker or flight attendant: $1.50
> each
> Reassuring head nod from pilot or co-pilot: $2.50 each
> Seat-back pocket rental fee: $2.00
> Motion-discomfort bag restocking fee: $5.00
> Courtesy test of flaps, rudder and landing gear: $4.75
> Courtesy air circulation fee: $1.50
> No-snakes-on-plane guarantee: $3
> Rental of light from overhead reading lamp: $0.50 per minute
> Water, coffee, tea and juice: $2 each
> Courtesy lavatory flush: $3 each
> Courtesy fee for not performing a courtesy lavatory flush: $100
> Ask flight attendant a question: $1 each
> Cone-of-silence rental (mandatory for babies and loud talkers over
> 80db): $20
> Seat cushion that sinks: $2
> Seat cushion that floats: $8
> Mid-flight fuel check: $4.50
> Landing-at-the-right-airport guarantee: $2.50
> Courtesy disembarking fee: $25
> Airline CEO country club membership courtesy contribution: $6

LOL! I never pay any extra fees cause I rarely check my bags, never
buy the snacks or the movie. The problem with the airlines IMO is they
have the 'ole McDonalds mentality where they gave away Big Macs 2 for
$2 and expected to make it up on the fries and the drink purchases. IF
the airlines were smart they would be doing what they are being forced
to do now, cut capacity and cancel un-profitable routes. Last time I
checked in the Constitution there was no guarantee for cheap Big Macs
nor cheap airline flites.

Re: As a Courtesy to Our Passengers

> Cone-of-silence rental (mandatory for babies and loud talkers over
> 80db): $20

Man I so would have paid this for my last flight with the human bull
horn in the row in back of me.

Re: As a Courtesy to Our Passengers

Getting-off-the-plane-first fee so you don't have to wait for 130 of the
slowest-moving-people-in-the-world to depart $10

Full Rebate of the money that they used to spend on your dinner 12
cents

One -and -a half seat special for fat people who want to share a middle
seat between them, $150, minimum two fat people.

Standby ticket for anyone who can fit their ass into our overhead
compartments, $75

Defrosting fee for frozen dog in cargo bin $10