If You Weren’t Such Losers, You’d Think Like Liberals

If You Weren’t Such Losers, You’d Think Like Liberals

Obama to Middle America: If You Weren’t Such Losers, You’d Think Like
Liberals

by Mac Johnson (more by this author)
Posted 04/15/2008 ET


>>"Liberalism is the home and incubator of “multiculturalism� -- the
belief that all cultures have value and should in no way be changed by
little things like the Western world, or modernity. If you practice a form
of herbal voodoo and speak a language with 13 remaining adherants,
they’ll argue you should be celebrated, subsidized, and provided with a
full-time interpreter should you decide to get a job at the Department of
Motor Vehicles.

In general, the stranger and more rare one’s culture, the more valuable
it is held to be as a specimen in the collection of the multicultural
menagerie. Alas, this love of the different does not extend to something
as mundane as Middle America. If you live in a white bread town in
Pennsylvania or Indiana (or anywhere else where people don’t worry about
“fair trade� coffee and the Dalai Lama), your culture is far from
valuable. In fact many liberals view it with the same sort of morbid
curiosity that most people reserve for the actions of the mentally ill.

“Why do they think that way?� is the question many ask when looking at
the sort of folks that believe in traditional things, live outside major
cities, go to church (or at least intend to), think that government help
carries too high a cost, fly an American flag on the Fourth of July, join
the military, own a gun (and -- gasp!-- intend to use it should some
dangerous fool come through their window) and, in general, think that
America is a pretty great place thanks to people a lot like them.

I’ve heard a number of theories put forward to explain this apparently
curious values system: inbreeding, lead poisoning, indoctrination by the
Ku Klux Klan, brainwashing by religion (the bad kind with the guy on the
cross, not the kind that multicultural types find fascinating enough to
incorporate into their decorating schemes) and lack of education are all
among the contenders.

The biggest theory is that has something to do with Republican “dirty
tricks.� The same Republicans that are so stupid they let Ted Kennedy
write education and immigration bills in the name of bipartisanship are,
according to this theory, such super-geniuses that they can trick half the
country into voting against their own best interests every election year
with nothing but a snappy bumper sticker and a few coded buzzwords.

Liberals believe that, in reality, working class whites are all pretty
much grubby little extras from “Norma Rae� or “Matewan� who are
too simple and ignorant to see that their true self-interest lay in asking
liberals to do their thinking for them and then doing what they’re told.
Oh, if only the proletariat would seek out their natural caretakers on the
left!

Now Harvard-educated lawyer cum community organizer and accidental
presidential favorite Barack H. Obama has put forward his own theory on
why Middle America has its own way of thinking: they’re all a bunch of
losers.

As you’ve no doubt heard, Obama, while speaking to a group of wealthy
liberal donors in San Francisco (a place very concerned about fair trade
coffee and the Dalai Lama) offered up this explanation for why liberalism
in general and his campaign in particular hasn’t caught fire in Scranton
and Altoona:

"You go into these small towns in Pennsylvania and, like a lot of small
towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and
nothing's replaced them...And they fell through the Clinton
Administration, and the Bush Administration, and each successive
administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna
regenerate and they have not. And it's not surprising then they get
bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't
like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to
explain their frustrations."

So you see it’s not inbreeding or lead-poisoning at all! It’s just
that these people are all the bitter losers in life’s lottery and they
manifest their bitterness and anger through obviously pathological
behaviors such as a belief in the Second Amendment or by attending church.
(Barack knows that the real reason to go to church is so you can hear your
nutcase pastor tell his non-bitter congregation that America deserved the
9-11 massacres and that white people created the AIDS virus.)

In fact, some of these bitter losers in Middle America are so sociopathic
in their “acting out� that they actually believe that people should
ask our permission before coming into our country or that free trade is
far from a perfect system. Now that’s just bordering on mental illness,
when the little people start getting their own ideas about economics!

Obama now regrets this statement (or at least the part where the yokels
outside San Francisco found out he said it) and has offered clarifications
of his belief in which he has said he could have chosen different words
(e.g. lies are different words) and that he was really just trying to
express sympathy with “ignored� and “bitter� people who are just
manifesting a “natural response� to their crappy station in life.

In other words, he still believes that Middle America is a bunch of bitter
losers, but it’s OK because he feels sorry for them. He feels their pain
-- or at least he might feel it after the bitter losers get a chance to
vote against him."<<

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