Re: He's Aliiive!On Apr 16, 8:48 pm, CrashTestDummy <FBRADFORDrem...@tx.rr,com > wrote:
> Wassup, homies!
>
> Would you believe I was pulling a no-handed, double-back-flip in
> preparation for Summer X?
>
> No?
>
> How about training for the Porn-O-Lympics with Jenna Jameson and
> friends?
>
> Not buying that one either, huh?
>
> Okay, here's the scoop... Seth came by and...
>
> Oh.
>
> So spike had it right. One day I'm boasting about my BMX skillz and
> a couple days later I'm in the ER department praying for something
> minor -- like a bruised shoulder and sprained wrist. No such luck. My
> xray looked pretty much identical to this one:
>
> http :// www .msu.edu/user/joshia/xray/1000-clavicle 02.jpg
>
> The wrist fracture was much less scary lookin', but no less
> disabling. Still though, I had the nurses laughing with my "body
> builder" pose after they applied this medieval X-strap thing designed
> to hold the collarbone in place. And again later when they decided
> maybe Jane should sign the paperwork, which prompted me to growl (in
> my best old west voice), "I can make my mark."
>
> As for the accident itself, nothing too exciting to report.
> Over-jumped a small double and just landed awkwardly. Wasn't even
> going that fast, but augured in like Flight 77. No chance to "roll
> with it." I don't believe I actually lost consciousness, but I saw
> lots of pretty stars and when I tried standing up -- twice -- I was
> staggering around like ol' Cooter Brown after a 3-day bender and sort
> of just collapsed on the second attempt.
>
> Fortunately our kids were off riding some nearby trails and were
> spared this spectacle. There were a couple of other kids present
> though and they came hurrying over to, I'm quite certain, pronounce me
> dead. I lied and assured them that I was fine.
>
> This wasn't an actual BMX track, but a dirt jump park tucked back
> in some woods near a subdivision. According to some of the guys it's
> been there for at least ten years and all the jumps were built (and
> maintained) by guys who ride there. It's a really neat place and the
> jump I crashed on wasn't much more than a mole hill (albeit a "kicker"
> of a mole hill). In fact, that was probably my biggest problem... the
> jump was too small to be smooth. But prior to the crash I had jumped
> several of the jumps successfully, including the one I crashed on.
> Confidence is sometimes an evil mistress ;->
>
> In any case, lesson learned. My future BMX exploits will only
> involve casual riding around the neighborhood with my kids. I
> should've known better.
>
> Thanks for all the thoughts and comments. I was just gonna lay low
> out of sheer embarrassment, but what the hell. Like Jay said, I got a
> reputation to uphold ;-p
>
> If I don't return your comments please don't take it personal. My
> collar bone keeps popping out of place when I type and, since I really
> need it to heal fast, I probably won't be typing much. I've read all
> the emails and RMD comments though, and I got your fax, John ;->
>
> The Dummy's gonna live so don't worry about me. Carry on and I'll
> see you in a few weeks. Thanks again.
>
> Fred Bradford - CrashTestDummy
> fjbradfordREM...@tx.rr,com
I can only hope you've learned your ways about illegal riding areas,
and I hope you gently replaced any dirt you may have disturbed... tsk
tsk...
Get well, Fred!