When insults had class

When insults had class

Borrowed from the alt.fan.letterman newsgroup.

WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS

When Insults Had Class (no 4-letter words!!) These glorious insults
are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a
great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter
words, not to mention waving middle fingers.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my
husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd
drink it." **
*
*A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the
gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said
Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." *

* "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
*
*"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill *

*"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston
Churchill *

* "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
*
*"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to
the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). *

*"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big
words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)**

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it." - Moses Hadas
*
*"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know." - Abraham Lincoln *

*"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." - Mark Twain *

*"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -
Oscar Wilde *

*"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring
a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston
Churchill**
** "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there
is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
*
*"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop *

*"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright *

*"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb **
*
*"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of** dullness in
others." - Samuel Johnson
*
*"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul
Keating**

** "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
Jack E. Leonard
*
*"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford *

*"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of
human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed *

*"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand**
*
*"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker *

*"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?" - Mark Twain *

*"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae
West



--
~Donna
http :// www ,fr ugalsewing,com
Reduce, reuse, recycle, re-create.

Re: When insults had class


Those are good. Now if I could only remember the appropriate one at the
appropriate time!


--
RaeMorrill
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Re: When insults had class

RaeMorrill wrote:
> Those are good. Now if I could only remember the appropriate one at the
> appropriate time!

The one I didn't see that I liked was from Winston Churchill, and I
can't remember the whole thing, but the punch line was something about
"but in the morning, I will be sober."

Re: When insults had class

Samantha Hill - take out TRASH to reply wrote:
> RaeMorrill wrote:
>
>> Those are good. Now if I could only remember the appropriate one at the
>> appropriate time!
>
>
> The one I didn't see that I liked was from Winston Churchill, and I
> can't remember the whole thing, but the punch line was something about
> "but in the morning, I will be sober."


Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.

Marsha

Re: When insults had class


LOL on the Churchill one.


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RaeMorrill
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Re: When insults had class

One of my favorites has always been, "And when you go home tonight, I hope
your mother does not run out from under the porch and bite you."

Barb C.
"RaeMorrill" <RaeMorrill.36usdh@no-mx.forums.yourdomain,com .au> wrote in
message news:RaeMorrill.36usdh@no-mx.forums.yourdomain,com .au...
>
> Those are good. Now if I could only remember the appropriate one at the
> appropriate time!
>
>
> --
> RaeMorrill
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> RaeMorrill's Profile: http :// www .scribera.org/forum/member.php?userid=982
> View this thread: http :// www .scribera.org/forum/showthread.php?t=1004
>